The Earth According to Mark.

After 41 posts (including this one), I'm abandoning this blog for Xanga. It's whack I know, but to be honest, Blogger is so confusing for me to use. It's great for my music-ish stuff, but it has little privacy and the interface just isn't casual enough for me. So check it out.

And he wasn't even dead yet.

I've been reading journals by mass killers (George Sodini) and mad scientists (Leonardo da Vinci) lately, and I can't help but notice that their words and feelings match my own friends' blogs. Despair, hope, loneliness, ambition, self efficacy.

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My friend is entering the seminary. Our discussions on religion always end up so cynical. In relevance to being a priest, he said he wants to downplay the notion of "being called;" he feels the phrase alludes to how human beings are selfish and how they have an undying need to feel significant. "Being called" is individualistic which goes against the grain in terms of the church being a universal ("Catholic") body. He also noted that the general feeling of "unworthiness" can be attributed to the possible notion that Jesus regretted dying for our sins; that we feel guilty because in effect, He died for "nothing." But on the other side of that, he refuted many of the ideas brought up in Bill Maher's anti-religious film Religulous. My friend is going to be one crazy-ass priest.

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My other friend wrote a blog on exclusivity. I feel it. I know this one girl who is in a group, and whenever she posts pictures of this group it's always just her and her friends [who happen to be in the group]. Always brings a chuckle to my face. But on the real, although I may be a hypocrite when it comes to this, I really try to hang out with as many people possible. Maybe it's narcissism? Probably. But I'm anti-commital. Don't like to be held down by one social collective. Maybe it's anti-social? Or maybe I'm just hella introverted. Which leads me to another thing.

I think it's hard for me to make friends nowadays. I try not to bring it up, but I really think that smoking bud made me alot more chill, which made it easier for me to talk to people and socialize. Now I feel incredible anal all the time. I get in people's faces. And more people have shit against me. It's like, once I dropped this vice, something equally worse happened. And I feel bitterly competitive. Like today, I was thinking to myself: I need to get rich so I'm better than everyone. I don't even know where that thought came from; it just sort of shot out.

More to come.

Hard work pays off. No GPA because I graduated (as indicated by the M4).

I have an ex-girlfriend who won't get off my balls about getting back together. Her name is Eden. Eden Hall. [segway] I use to keep my recording gear in a suitcase; anyways, I was looking through it this past weekend and a grip of old Eden Hall stickers came out. If anyone wants any, just ask. But it's always funny - the relationship of a band. I'm playing middle man, and there's this, "Did he say anything about me? Did he ask about me?" vibe going on. Indescribably odd.

Things I want to do:

• 5-minute stand-up comedy routine
• avant garde skateboarding film
• week-long tour
• stop shooting the shit in these blogs; write something meaningful every once in a while
  

I cut my hair in mid-June and now it's early August. My hair has barely grown at all. I've made a deal with myself that if I'm balding I'm going to sport a bic'd look.

When I was younger I use to watch skateboard videos and put the volume on mute. I'd put a CD on my Panasonic boom box, and play the music. It was always interesting just seeing if the music fit the video (hitting rails/landing tricks on beat). And I think that's my next project. An avant garde skateboard movie using the music I've been recording. It's going to be interesting to see if this happens. I always have these ideas, but they never meet fruition. But we'll see. As always.

I'm as monster as it gets. Or so I assume. Today in my psychology class we were taught that people are largely unconscious of who they are. Reminds me of something I read from Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs - no one is completely self-aware. Hey, I just try to be the best me that me can be even though deep down I know that who I am isn't good enough. But I'm trying, and sometimes that's half the battle - but then sometimes you can lie to yourself and say, "It wasn't part of the plan."

I feel like when people talk about how life didn't go according to plan, it's more of a coping mechanism than anything. [CYNICISM UNLEASHED!] But no really, I guess we all just do what we want to do and hope for the best.

You know: My biggest regret is that I followed my heart. I really wish I did what made everyone happy. Is that bad?

I really see this happening.

I've been noticing this lately: to make something "Asian," fast food restaurants just add sweet sauce and a pineapple. Case[s] in point, Carl's Jr. Teriyaki burger and Wendy's Spicy Chicken Asian bites. I haven't had either, but it makes me laugh.

Funny People was really good. Judd Apatow has finally finished his triology: sex in 40 Year Old Virgin, marriage in Knocked Up, and death in Funny People. I have this theory that trilogies are the most epic piece of work anyone can do. But yeah, I liked Funny People; would I see it again? I saw 40 Year Old Virgin like three times in theaters. Apatow films are hard to swallow; funny the first round but then a mess of penis and vagina jokes the second roung.

I'm doing a split album (four songs each) with a friend, and it's finally done after today. Highly experimental. I have no idea where it all came from. I feel like I pushed myself weirder instead of harder, and I truly dig the reuslts. Hm. Something wicked definitely comes this way. Put stuff on my Myspace.

Japandroids tonight. Strange life is.