The Earth According to Mark.

I just came home a few minutes ago from a night of Halo with a few friends of mine. It was a pretty chill event. So I came home, and I turn on the light to find the ceiling light on the table (in my room, the light is a halogen bulb hanging from the ceiling by a hanger-screw). I had forgotten that earlier today the light had fallen down incidentally. So I go searching on the stucco roof to find the hole where the screw went in. Seconds later, wah-law, it's in. I hang the light in, change, and then the light falls down, splatters, and goes out. No more light and tiny bits of bulb all over the carpet. I sit down and pick out every little piece that I possibly can with the light on from the dining room; it's not enough, but it'll do. And I manage to get a good amount of it. Relevance...It was weird because when the light fell down, I was just reflecting on my life. And this is what I was thinking:

At one point in my life, I was a nostalgic person. I only appreciated things once they were gone. I can't help it: I grew up playing in a emo band - all we ever write about are depressing things. But in these past few months - really this past month - I've really just said "Fuck it" to the future, and just learned to appreciate what is. And to be honest, I've never once hated my life in these past few months; I've been frustrated at the things happening in my life, but never my life in general.

I guess what I'm trying to get at is: this is my "hero's falling moment." I write about it all the time - every protagonist has that moment when he or she gives up. When going on seems pointless because it starts to seem like a means to an end. Earlier tonight, I got notification that my speech class got canceled. And then I pondered to myself how the hell I was going to get two more letters of recommendation: getting one was fucking hard enough. It's a frustrating process. And I just wonder if hope is around the corner, if I'm down in for another round of the darkest years of my life. I really don't know.

But time is running low, and I need to find out soon.